Money's tight and you're desperate -- Part I of V

I recently came across THIS blog post at I Heart Budgets about a woman who commented on a post about living on a $14/hr wage. The woman, Marie, commented that she "can't even afford to . . . buy food to eat."

Wow did that take me back!

When my son was very young and I was still with his father, there were times when we literally couldn't afford to eat. We did have money coming in, but my ex (my son's dad) spent it just as fast faster than we could earn it.  Even if he didn't have poor financial habits (we both did, but I had the sense to budget while he preferred to "live life now because someday we'll be dead"), we still would have struggled, but not nearly as much. At one point, I went to the Department of Health and Human Services to apply for food stamps, Medicaid, and any other services that might be available--it was heartbreaking to take that step, but even more so to find out that we didn't qualify for any type of assistance because we were literally $100 over the maximum income limits, even after every possible deduction available.

Those were lean years and I often found myself at the grocery store attempting to buy groceries only to find that there was no cash in my wallet and no money in the bank. No matter how much I tried to get my ex to reign in his spending habits, my efforts fell on deaf ears. We didn't earn a lot, so the tiny bit that my ex didn't spend really didn't go very far. There were many times when I feared we wouldn't have food to eat, that the utilities would get shut off, that we would end up homeless. These were very real possibilities.

In my desperation to keep us above water while with my ex, and again after I left him and had only my own meager income to live off of, I learned a lot about pinching a penny! Years ago I used those skills to simply survive. Today, I'm using many of them to try to rebuild financially and pay down my debt.

It sucks, it is hard, it is demoralizing to not be able to make ends meet no matter how hard you work.
 
This is part one of five in a revised version of my comment on the original blog post that prompted me to write this today--in essence, this is my list of a few of the ways I managed to cut our expenses and help us to survive:

First of all, I totally get it--I'm a single mom of a teenage son who is on the brink of starting college. I have NO college funds saved for him. I receive NO child support either. His dad is NOT in the picture for a variety of important reasons. It's really just my son and myself. Were it not for the lessons I learned in my son's first four years, before I left his father, I would not be able to face the next few years knowing we will be ok, even if money is tight.

Be sure to read every book available from your library on topics like:

• Voluntary simplicity
• Frugal living
• Personal finance
• Home economics
• Debt relief
• Finance in general

If your library has the book The Tightwad Gazette, I highly encourage you to read it cover to cover. This one book is like the Bible of frugal living and tightening the financial belt. I checked it out repeatedly when my son was young and I was truly financially desperate. Some of the ideas in it are quite extreme, but honestly, when you are desperate, sometimes extreme is necessary. In fact, this book is so essential, that I want you to put this at the top of your list of things to do in tightening your financial belt and getting a handle on your finances. Please borrow it from the library though--don't buy it unless you can truly afford to do so because the goal here is to IMPROVE your financial situation, and spending money shouldn't be part of that plan. In fact, for that very reason, I am NOT linking this to an Amazon or other affiliate link for you to buy it. If your library doesn't have The Tightwad Gazette on the shelves, ask if they can order it for you.

Get single parent peer support: As a single mom, I suggest finding a single moms support group if you are also a single parent, preferably one with kids similar in age to your own kids, not so that your child has playmates, but rather so YOU have more in common as a parent with others in the group. Barter services or goods with others to save money (babysitting, children's clothing, cleaning and chores, and more). Spending time with people you have something in common with often make the struggle easier to bear.

Find help at a religious house of worship: Visit your local church, mosque, or temple and ask if they have resources available for people in your situation. Many have food pantries, clothing closets, free counseling services, and more. Many also do NOT require you to be a member or to follow their religious beliefs. You may find a variety of services available in religious houses of worship, ranging from counseling, a food pantry, a clothes closet, and more. You may also be able to find low cost child care.

Embrace FREE: Look around your life and figure out a way to cut every expense you possibly can. This may need to include things like internet access at home. Dump home internet and cable and use the library instead. Get DVDs, books, and magazines from the library too, but be sure to return them on time (I put the due dates on my calendar and set a reminder on my phone). Hang dry your laundry instead of paying for electricity to use a machine. Accept free samples of anything and everything that comes your way -- pass on those you won't use and keep and use those things you WILL use. Sign up for Pinch Me (use referral code 7C42J, pretty please!), a samples-in-exchange-for-reviews service. The samples are incredibly high quality and the reviews are super simple, fast online surveys. Find FREE entertainment in your community and take advantage of it--parks, free concerts, free museum days, free lectures, and more.

Seriously, your library is a wealth of information, as well as entertainment and activities for adults, parents, teens, children, and even toddlers and babies. It is a refuge, has free internet for members, and most offer services for FREE such as:

• career counseling
• financial planning
• tax preparation
• skills courses (computer skills, writing classes, ESL courses, and much more)

Visit your local food bank, food closet, or food pantry: You have to eat. PERIOD. There is no shame in visiting a food bank.

Get free or discounted feminine hygiene products: Sign up for coupons and samples from all of the companies that make feminine hygiene products--you might want to set up a separate email address for this as it can generate a lot of email. Some will send you free samples, others will send coupons. Try emailing them to ask for samples too. OR...consider switching to cloth pads, and if money is really tight enough, consider learning to make your own--there are tons of tutorials online. Do the same for free baby products, samples, and coupons for your little one!

Part 2 covers: medications and healthcare, grocery shopping tips, and housing.
Part 3 covers: utilities and transportation.
Part 4 covers: cooking, kitchen, and pantry habits. 
Part 5 will cover: laundry, toiletries, cleaning, and pet care.

Or, read the entire series HERE.

What are your tips for surviving when money is beyond tight?